hahaha... so happy today.. gg to eat steamboat later.. leavin my hse at 4pm.. haha.. i m jumpin up n down now le.. haha.. cant wait.. haha.. today is e first day one whole family sittin down together n eat steamboat.. hahas.. my jie kor daddie mummie.. hahaha... all there.. i tink tonite i will be e happiest girl in e world.. omg.. first time.. this whole week i hv been crying.. makin ppl ard me worry.. sorry.. but don worry.. today will be my happiest day.. heex.. n if i cry today.. i e tears of happiness n not e tears of sorrow kaez.. heex.. hahahahahah.. so happy... cant wait till 4pm.. n sure i will crap alot de.. n most of all.. no eatin of crabs today.. if u eat any crabs... u are killin me... bleahx..

Friday, July 16, 2004


5:54 PM

i cried agn todae.. i was late for sch bcos i waited for char until 7.15.. called my mom to ask her if i can don go to sch.. she scolded me n demanded me to go sch by hook or by crook.. haix.. den reached sch at 7.36 plegde n everything were taken.. stand there like a bai chi.. haix.. den go bac class.. miao came to find me.. i started crying veri badly..  i don wanna go for maths class.. so i asked to go toilet.. den char go toilet wit me.. den after a while i cool down.. i stopped crying.. den we tot maths was oni 1 period.. but it was actually 2.. den we got no choice but to go for lesson.. den at chem.. return test pp.. i failed.. my best sub of all.. i failed.. i failed by 1.5 marks.. i actually failed my chem... i cried agn.. i cant stop cryin at all.. not at all.. i kept crying non-stop.. i got no choice.. i went to e toilet agn.. i locked myself in e cubicle.. cried terribly.. den hazel bang onto e door askin me to come out.. after a while i came.. den they tok me round.. we went bac to class for pc.. after pc is recess.. e moment mrs han stepped out.. i cried agn.. den went down to fill my bottle den go find ann na.. stayed in her class.. she asked me y i cried this mornin.. i was like.. how u noe.. she sae she saw.. den ask me if i m better.. even help me to comb my hair.. thanks.. den bell ring le.. we went bac.. test in e lab.. din stay for musical thingy.. i got veri bad stomach ache.. went bac wit hazel.. den watch tv n etc.. came online saw daddie.. den tok tok tok..
 
*daddie.char.hazel.ann na.miao.lao tou zi..
hey.. i noe u all care for me.. thanks so much kaez.. thank you.. realli thank you so much.. thanks for being there for me.. thanks for everything tat u all hv done.. thanks.. -hugs-

Thursday, July 15, 2004


8:13 PM

new photots are updated.. on haezl hse.. hahas.. if u all din realised.. my usa trip fotos are also updated.. heex..

6:13 PM

yesterday nite i was crying terribly.. veri terribly.. thanks lao tou zi.. thanks for being there for me.. thank you.. thank you so much.. i m much better.. so much better.. thank you.. after school waited for char at e staff rm there for so long.. den i went to e class rm.. she wasnt thee liaox.. den we waited for her at e gate there cos got a lot of teachers.. den waited for awhile den we saw mr yeo walkin out to see if got ppl jay not.. den we were like.. heng we din go out.. den wait for char.. ann na came.. after quite a long while we went off.. den i call char.. she nv pick up her fone.. den msg her.. den we went up e bus liaox.. den in e end.. i decided to go hazel hse take pics.. den ann na wans to see my hair.. so in e end.. we all go hazel hse together.. hahas.. laugh n laugh non-stop.. after takin some fotos.. ann na has to go off le.. so sad.. she is not gg on sun nite.. haix.. den we continue takin hahaha.. so zi lian loh.. cant stand ourselves.. hahahas.. so cool.. den i need to go bac le.. den they sae take some more b4 i go off.. den in e end.. i 4.30++ den go off.. hahas.. den take a taxi bac.. cos my hair is still tied up.. den pass SRJC.. saw lao dou practisin shootin.. den agn saw kor kor usin fone while walkin to sch.. haha.. so funnie.. den msg kor kor.. haha.. i tink she tinks tat i stalked her agn like last time.. hahas.. den reached home le.. yups..

*hazel.clara.ann na..
hey.. i noe u all dunno anithing.. but all i wanna sae is u all gave me a great time.. make me forget abt all my probs.. i noe tat u all noe something wrong le rite.. after wat happen in e bus.. but pls.. ann na.. my hand veri pain leh.. yups.. thank you kaez.. u all really made my day.. its great to hv u all in my life.. thanks so much.. heex.. -hugs-

Wednesday, July 14, 2004


10:01 PM

NOBODY'S HOME - AVRIL LAVIGNE

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
I's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find a reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah

9:58 PM

okie fine... i will respect ur decision.. bcos of this kinda thing u don wanna make frens wit me anymore.. den fine.. i will respect ur decisions de.. veri disappointed.. yup.. since liketat.. don be frens.. okie.. is tat satisfied?? i tink u shud be.. so fine.. don be frens anymore.. veri disappointed wit ur decision tats all i can sae..

8:17 PM

tired.. tats wat i can sae abt today.. veri terribly tired these few days.. feel as if i cant go on.. wanna slp forever.. but it seems tat i cant.. everything is as routine today.. jux tat some stuffs happen n colours my routines.. haha.. after amaths.. i was at e corridor outside hazel class wit hazel.. den heard they all saying tat there is a dead bird.. when to look down.. elizabeth beside me shoutin to su askin her to bring e bird up.. den su came up wit e bird.. it really disgusting loh can.. e bird so poor thing.. cant die in peace.. haha.. den su n elizabeth hold e bird together using e paper.. den elizabeth is shakin.. den she was shouting tat e bird is movin??!! den they all tio scared.. they DROP e dead bird!! omg.. so damn poor thing.. den they all scared.. so scared.. so elizabeth got no choice but to pick it up den throw it into e bin.. su open e bin liaox.. den elizabeth din aim properly.. e paper went in but not e bird.. e bird is at e edge of e bin.. omg.. its so disgustin loh.. i nearly vommited loh can.. den they wanted to kick it in.. but cant reach.. nv aim properly oso.. somemore stubbins came liaox.. got no choice.. su hv to take e garbage bag den toss it over.. finally is inside e bin loh can.. oh pls.. let e bird hv a peaceful death can.. den we all got scolded bcos we were noisy.. haix.. den hv to take my lit test.. hais.. total failure.. tats all i can sae loh.. i din even do my last qes.. i din even noe wat incident.. haix.. i m gg to fail big time for my lit le.. haix.. gonna die.. hope no need to sign my test paper.. haix.. i failed my chinese.. got bac my paper today.. haix.. 20/50..
haix.. this test i really did study de loh.. but pls.. is e comprehension tat pull me down.. 3/15 for my compre.. oh man.. cant stand myself man.. keepin failin my tests... y e hell m i not studyin?? instead i m slpin instead??!!!?? haix.. i got nth to sae abt myself anymore le loh... haix.. wat e hell is happenin to me?? i m not liketat last time de... i don normally get tired n i will definitely study de loh.. now... oh pls.. hate myself being liketat man... CHANGE lim gui he... u can carry on wit this kinda conditions... u will die out there de! omg.. i feel as if i m gg to die anytime...

Tuesday, July 13, 2004


6:48 PM

my test is gg to fail agn.. this maths test i practically dunno how to do everything except e plottin of graphs loh can.. i m really dead.. i hv no confidence in my chinese chem n maths test.. i m dead.. if i fail all of these.. i will definitely be condemn by my parents.. n they are gg to sae tat ITE is e right place for me loh.. haix.. nvm.. used to it le.. being condemn until like tat is jia chang bian fan to me liaox.. so wats e point.. hmm.. tml got lit test.. i got no confidence at all.. cos i dunno anithing abt this chpt.. omg.. i m practically failing everything loh.. oh god.. i see no bright future behind me.. i m urgin myself to study.. but y i don seem to study as hard as when i was in pri sch? in pri sch.. my results were not tat bad.. until i come to sec sch.. my results are gg down e stairs.. i don wan it to go down e stairs.. i wan it to be gg up e stairs.. haix.. watever it is.. it all depends on me.. nth else i can ask for.. haix.. sayin all this is useles.. actions need to be done.. hmm..

Saturday, July 10, 2004


10:59 AM

yesterday::

damn sadded in sch.. my geog book is lost.. all my notes are inside n e geog book is veri ex.. i go everywhere n find.. but still in vain.. haix.. went bac to class.. don even wanna do my work.. den e teacher keep pressin me to do.. was thinkin alot of things.. abt wat they sae.. haix.. i cant change ur way of thinkin.. so i hv to bear wit it.. but i don think i can bear wit it till veri long.. cos its drivin me veri crazy le.. i don think i can control myself not to cut anymore.. if i were to cut agn.. i m veri sorie peeps.. sorie i cant control myself.. but i m realli gg to burst soon u noe.. anytime.. haix.. den in class i cried.. i cant believed tat i actually cried in class de loh can.. den i went toilet.. saw mrs han.. char told her tat i was sick.. den she asked me to stay in e toilet.. so we stayed there.. den we saw mrs chew.. den we told her tat i wanted to vomit.. den she sae okie.. slowly walk bac.. cos she is teachin something veri complicating.. so cant miss tat lesson.. den we take a bigger route.. we walked down.. at table tennis area got ppl practisin indian dance.. chinese girls doin indian dance? 80% is for racial harmony day. hahaha.. cant wait.. is my birthday!! hahaha.. den when we were abt to walk to e stairs.. i felt like vommitin.. ran to e toilet.. vommit things out which i dunno wats tat cos i din eat.. haix.. den we went bac to class.. e whole day we keep gg toilet cos we used e reason tat i wanna vommit.. so all e teachers allow.. haha.. den during CME.. i send hazel down.. den herd fr charlotte tat she told mrs han tat i went to e toilet n vommit.. den she came n find me.. haha.. she oso pon.. haha.. den went to astro boy's class.. choose e foto.. haha.. den tok n slack ard.. den hazel n astro boy went off.. we sit at e stairs there n tok.. den we went up to class.. when we were abt to go in.. mrs han came out.. haha.. den for geog.. i din hv e book.. i went to tell ms ting.. when i told her... she gave me tat disappointed face.. i was so guilty n sad loh.. i promised her so many times tat i will go n buy.. but in e end i din buy at all.. haix.. veri hurtin to see her disappointed face.. i m gg to show her tat i will definitely score veri well for geog de.. yepps.. let her change her impression of me.. heex.. den after geog went bac.. walk ard at hlm.. went to popular buy geog txtbk.. haix.. e cost really is veri ex loh.. haix.. nvm.. wat done is done liaox.. haix.. hou lao shi told me tat i failed my chinese test.. i m really dead le.. my mom sae if i fail any test.. she will not sign it.. i dunno wat to do.. haix.. everything is killin me soon le loh.. haix.. i dunno y.. i m really veri tired.. veri veri tired.. at home my family scold me.. in sch teachers.. studies so pressurizin.. i jux wanna brk off wit all f these things loh.. all these is makin me kill myself..! argh!

today::

went for Ld.. haix.. for few hrs oni.. n its so boring.. haix.. i sign up for e make up thingy.. i m gg to be veri busy liaox.. but i need cca points.. i got no choice.. if this thing don hv cca point.. i m gg to kill myself man.. haix.. den somemore on tat day tat i m watchin.. i still hv to go there earlier. to help them make-up loh.. i tink its better lah.. den liketat i can don need to disturb e two of them ma.. haha.. great.. wat a great idea to join this thingy. haha.. anyway.. i m used to being alone liaox.. so nvm.. haha... let e two of them be together is better.. hahas.. haix.. wish i din even come to this world.. but if i din come to this world.. my greatest regret is i wun noe i hv great frens ard me.. heex.. u all are my pillar of support.. heex.. so u all cant leave me kaez.. if u all leave me.. i m really gone.. gone forever..

Thursday, July 08, 2004


9:08 PM

hmm... rainin e whole day.. such a nice day.. haha.. so cooling.. heex.. nth much happen in sch lah.. hahas.. den met daddie den we all hv lunch together.. hahas.. den sitted at e place oso got a grp of guys de.. den i was tokkin all e way den they nv tok.. so tupid.. bleahx.. den e guys were callin my beautiful name.. eekk.. den kept callin non stop loh.. wa lau.. den in e end they stop.. hahas.. den i went bac to sch to find hazel.. den they hv interact club meetin.. hmm.. den sat at e piano there wit pauline hear canon in D.. so nicee... haha.. love tat song.. heex.. den go hlm.. hahas.. of course same thing.. take neoprint.. haha.. agn n agn.. okie.. den go popular.. wanted to buy geog txtbk.. but so damn ex loh.. wa lau.. let me find out who e idiot frozen banana who make my book missin.. i m goin to slice tat frozen banana into pieces.. n flush down e toilet.. idiotz!!! den went bac.. i wanted to use e com den my sis n bro came n ji siao me.. ask me to help them do this n do that.. den shouted to me tat they hate me.. i was like.. wth loh.. pls.. i help u all do things n u all tell metat u all hate me.. den okie i m fine wit it.. u all can hate me for all u wan man... i don care.. all i noe is i hate this home kaez.. so u hate me.. i oso hate u all.. i m fine wit tat.. so u all can carry on hatin me.. i feel as though i m not suppose to come to this world at all.. come to this world being so unwanted? this is ridiculos.. pls.. everyone come to this world has a reason n i don tink there is a reason for me to come to this world.. no reason at all.. ppl come to this world happily.. i don tink so.. nth can make me go on at all.. oni one veri impt thing tat is leadin me on.. friends.. friendship is e oni thing tat is leadin my life on.. if not.. i don tink i m gonna carry on livin.. n e best thing is i feel as though my frens are leavin me one by one.. soon i m gonna leave soon le ba.. i dunno.. i really wanna go to a place where i belong.. can someone take me there???~~~!!

Monday, July 05, 2004


7:12 PM

i m bac fr her hse... hahah... i m drunk noe.. if there is any seplling error den i m veri sorie.. hahah.. we were hvin lots of fun at first.. den her father came bac.. n i was half drunk liaox.. den we hv to do e things all veri fast.. hahaha.. den i need to go toilet den i fell.. now i think i sprian my leg.. so pain.. sobvx... but still i m goin to sch tml.. i dunno how m i suppose to go sch tml.. hahaha.. nvm.. had a lot of fun today.. thaks mummy n daddie.. heex.. u 2 gave me a grwat dauy.. hahahaha... so cool... bt sorrie dad.. u hv to send me home den cant tok to her... so socrei.. shud not disturb u two de loh.. tupid me.. sorie kor.. make u wait so long.. cos i need to pass her e present to pass it to u.. hahahha... sorie... yupx... really had a great day today.. thank to u all.. thank you.. heex.. muackss.... heex,..

Sunday, July 04, 2004


10:57 PM

today at home did nth.. hmm.. as usual.. haix.. but tml is a great day.. i m goin to chiong tml.. if anyone wanna come den contact me thru my hp kaez.. hahahaha... so cool.. it will be bu zui bu gui.. hahahaha... cant wait for tml to come.. cool.. hahahaha... great day tml.. hahahaha....

Saturday, July 03, 2004


11:14 PM

hmm.. did not much things today.. had tuition den went to my grandma place.. haha.. walk ard at sun plaza.. oh man.. nth to walk ard de.. haha.. den i feel tat i wanted to change my damn fone so much.. askin my mom to get me 7200 for my birthday den in e end she sae no!! bcos i went to america liaox.. okie fine.. denhv to bear wit this 8250.. haix.. hmm.. yepp... i tink tats all le ba.. nth liaox.. hahaha..

Friday, July 02, 2004


8:28 PM

today youth day celebration was veri lame yet funnie.. it changed my impression of some teachers n oso noe some secrets abt some teachers.. hor!!! hahah... den e clip abt e alpha camp.. rmb everything tat happen tat time.. i was sick.. cos of my damn eye.. den a lot of ppl showered me wit their concern.. thanks peeps.. really thank you for being there for me.. heex.. nth much happen today.. during chinese lesson.. i was slpin.. teacher nv catch me until hv to do yu wen lian xi.. tupid man! den my head was veri pain...!! den hv after sch lesson when my head is pain like hell.. den went heartland wit char.. met calista on e way.. den walk ard.. wit my headache.. saw miao.. n other ppl.. den yup.. tok here tok there.. den yepp.. go home n slp.. my head was veri pain.. now is okie le.. felt so relieved.. heex.. yepp.. cant wait for monday to come.. i m goin to drink.. hahaha.. i m goin to drink until i m song loh.. wow... long time nv drink le.. anyway i m goin to drink a few days later.. isnt tat brillant.. hahaha.. and oso.. my birthday comin.. cant wait.. i will be gettin my IC soon.. hahahaha.. n hope this yr is my happiest birthday in all my life.. heex...