2 test in the early morning. sickening. i think i'm gonna flung them agnn. haix. school was fine today. nth much happened. just that we changed class and everyone was sulking. hahas. so funny. den after sch have lit. den went down for a drink with hazel. talk talk talk. den back to class do banner. hahas. i love our banner! hahas. is real nice. hahas. do liaox den find clara. she cramp. so took her home. hahas. den back to class take bag. went off with hazel and clara and van. meet zenn outside sch. wa lau. den taxi took soo long to come can? sorry van i pang sehh you. den took cab to find calista. den took bus to heartland. cool right? one whole bigg bunch took bus tgt. hahas. den went macs straight. hungry like shitt. but in the end din eat at all. had a good chat with her. gods. i cried at macs agnnn. i feel regretful. but say so much also no use now. haix. cried non-stop. everyone asked me what happened. but i dunno how to say. thanks anyway. den talk half way went inside. talked. cried. oh man. cried the whole day lahh. den at ard 6.40 went home. my mum asked me why my eyes so red. den i say i fall down the stairs. hahas. so cool right? i got test tmr agnnn. haix.

1:00 AM

i'm back. i'm back to a happier person perhaps. maybe bcos i know something? but that something is troubling me soo muchh too. haix. but all in all i've finally been laughing these few days. hahas. greats. alot of things happen these few days. don wanna talk about it. i dunno what will happen but i know my life gonna be tough. haix. but no matter what i'm gonna study lah. hahs.

die lahh. chem sure fail. what i study din came out. what i din study DID come out. so sicko! crap. left alot of blanks lahh. of course. i feel that it always happens in the test. hahas. lame me. hahas. got back m bio test. i failed. expected. cos i din learn much of it though. haix. i'm getting worst. flunging my tests these few days. haix. den during maths we were decorating the class. our banner colour is yellow. jeslyn wore it as a bra and stuffed pe t-shirt inside. hahas. damn funny. she was walking ard to show that she has BIG boobs. hahas. laugh until my mouth cant close. hahas. den later she took out. den she become a nun?! hahas. so funny! her actions and how she show herself. so cutee. hahas. den went down for chapel. talking about boils. was very digusted by what the pastor was saying. haix. den went off sch.

settled some things. den went to eat. chicken rice agnn. yeahh. hahas. this one is much nicer. hahas. den eat and talk and eat and talk. laugh non-stop agnn. hahas. den took cab to heartland. greats. saw my SWEETHEART today. hahas. yeahh. finally i saw you. hahas. den went mini toons and "shop" hahas. do you know what? something caught my eye todayy. is a cow bloster. hahas. soooo cuteeee. heees. is only $9.90? was shocked when i saw the price. hahas. vic bought sweets and calista bought sweets too. hahas. now sweets don tempt me. why? beats me too. hahas. den went over to macs and slack. slack and talk and laugh and sing song. den about 5.30 zenn came over. den yuan ting and her friend. in the end we all sat down and slack. hahahas. do hw. but not all done yet. cos i don have the xing qing to do lohh. hahas. nobody buy me chocolate milk so i bought it myself. poured into my milk bottle. hahas. den everyone drank my milk! using my bottle. -cries my bottle got scratch!!!!!! oh mann. so sad. gonna buy milk tmr agnn. hahahas. staying back late tmr. greats. i think i have to stay until very late bahh. haix. sianx... zenn is a smart ass you know. she saw my broken test tube. and she took it to play. she din want to return me. force her to return. den she say later. when i got back. guess what? she broke the tip part of my test tube away. w/o me knowing.. i'll make her buy me a new test tube to break. hahahas. gonna continue studying le. cant slack liaox.


i just wanna see you agnn. how i hope that all the times will last forever.

Sunday, January 23, 2005


1:47 AM

don talk to me about anything. i need to quieten down. let me be alone. don ask me why. i'm gonna mia. don contact me thru my phone anymore. i wun ans and i wun rlp. thats it. its my time to be alone now. i'm just breaking down. don worry.


broken down once agnn.
things that i saw, is once agnn seen in front of me.



take me away to a faraway land.
i want to leave this miserable world of mine.
leaving all my pain and sorrows behind.
living a new life without any pain and sorrow.
will this happen?
will this miracle come to my life?
i have no faith in this miracle at all.
goodbye my friends.
i wish you all find your happiness soon.

Saturday, January 22, 2005


10:56 PM

oh god. i'm sorry if i attitude you these days. dont really have that good mood to do anything. but if i were to attitude you i'm sorry. some things happen. i need time to adjust myself. so pls understand. thanks.


early morning got pissed off by ben! pang sehh me. freak. nvm. den went to kovan macs for breakfast and studying with van. hmmm. i think we din really study lahh. oh crap. we're just plain talking. thats all. hahas. as you know. girls love to talk. hahas. den left to van shop. sit there less than half an hour went to take bus. hahas. off to tuition. was there early lahh. hahas. at ard 1.50? yeahh. better now. at least i'm early. i got a new student today. hee hee. she is cute. she look like me when i'm young. hahas. i'm bhb here. i was hopping ard classes to help outt. hahas. cos another class was totally ridiculous. they dont even understand that the question says. get it now? i teach until i nearly vomit blood lahh. that teacher so chum. have to teach that class. somemore 10 ppl lehh. hahas. i admire her determination. -thumbs up hahas. den after lesson went off to kovan heartland agnn. yarr greats. i wasnt in a very good mood. felt like crying. but no one noticed. van was with her sis and some other ppl. she was talking to them. until i really cant take it. i went off. off crying. i felt so miserable. felt so unnoticed. truthfully. one word describe - unwanted. thats me. yeahh. but yarr. i got no mood anymore. now. don pile me up with any prob. i full of it now.

broken down once agnn....

Friday, January 21, 2005


6:50 PM

so sickk. everyone is outt todayy. but for me? i'm stuck at home with my parents. why? i cant get outt. what crap. stupid phone bill fault. cause me to get grounded. hahas. but nvm. i'm gg outt tmr. but to study and to tuition little kids. hahas. agnn. my mum scolded me for tuitioning little kids. sadd. i have to tell auntie agnes that i can only go once every two sat. haix. i'm sorry. )): i don wish this to happen but.. haix. don talk bout it. haix. styaing at home is not a good thing either. watched tv for the whole of half a day. hahs. got nagg agn and agnn. hahahs. so there is not diff in me gg outt today and staying at home. so why they don let me outt? i rather stay outside den stay at home and face my father lahhh. haix. forget it. at least i don face him tmr. yeahhs. hahas. i know i'm badd. go on say it. i don care. don ask me whyy. ask me nth of this. hmm. gotta study le. so many test next week. and guess what?? i forgot to bring my amaths home! die! and amaths QUIZ is either mon or tue. oh man. hope it will be on a tue. haix. but permutations and combinations is quite a easy chpt. at least is not bionomial. hahas. i think is spelled liketat? hee hee. greats! i'm gg to do my hw now. gotta finish my lian bi by TODAY! i wonder how am i gonna finish 3 in ONE day?! hope a miracle can happen. haix. talk no more. gonna do now.....

Thursday, January 20, 2005


6:56 PM

oh man. i will definitely flung my bio test. i left lots and lots of BLANKS cann? die lahh. first test i'm gonna flung. will this be the last test i'm going to flung? nth much todayy. same routine each dayy. my time table CHANGED! everything is changed. mon i'm suppose to end at 2.20 now changed to thurs. wth? and now pe days are every thurs and fri? this is stupid combi. and now i have to readapt my new time table. great. now i don even know if me and hazel still have the same recess. stupid! why must they changed the time table. i shall not harp on it. if not i will gon on and it will never end. chi. hou lao shi say my compo not badd. hahas. damn happpy. cos this is the first time she praise me lahh. everytime is she scold me cos i don hand in my homework? hahas. great. now i have to finish 3 lian bi altogether. punishment for not doing it during the hols. this is sickening. isnt it? haix. next week got LOTS of test! oh my! got ard 4-7 tests altogether. althou some are quiz but still isnt it the same as test? all marks are recorded in CA. haix. so scary. i think i'm not gg out for the whole of next week le. i shall go home early everyday just to study for my tests. -bite fingers after sch got house meeting. hee hee. same old one agnn. but guess what? shirley koh (potassium hydroxide) is the president of CHEW house. hahahas. was kinda shocked when mrs teng announced her name. hahas. and twinnie is the level head of sec 4 hahahas. i've joined in shot put. weird? yeahh. i was forced to. every girl must join at least one! crap. mrs jacob nearly put my in 100m sprint. hahas. if i were to get in that i will cry my head off. hahas. i shall go watch tv. hee hee. studying tonight agnn. what a busy week it is. -faints

Monday, January 17, 2005


7:06 PM

yeahhs. i'm so damn happy todayy. i'm real flying up in the skyy. hees. let me tell you why i'm soooo happy alrightts? i got 37/50 for my chi test!!! yeppie! i'm sooo happy! is 74/100 greats! but i still din get my aim. i'm aiming for A1. haix. i shall try harder. hee hee. liketat i'm motivated to study. hahas. sooo happy. was thinking that i will fail for sure. but i din expect myself to have this kinda marks. hahas. happy and proud for me? yeahhs. i think you do okayy? hmmm. now i'm motivated to study for my bio and chem test. hope that i will get at least a B3 for my test for both. but i think i want to get at least a A2 for my chem. pray that i can get that kinda marks. hope my miracle will happen. -winks

nth muchh today. amaths pop quiz i fail. stupid me. i can actually flung my pop quiz. oh man. i guess i have to buck up for my amaths. yepps. but still my chi is piority. yupp. den went to recess with van. mum mum and talk talk. hahas. poured some things outt to each other. den went for bio. hahas. nat was real funny. she was entertaining herself also entertaining us with her actions. cos bio lessons was soo boring. hahas. so funny. den go back class for chi. walk to 4c2 class. had ting xie but we denied that we had. so she got no choice but postponed it to tmr. hahas. feel quite guilty lahh. haix. after end and lit go home. but got some water thingy after that. waited for teacher to come. but about 2.45 le still hvnt come. so went off with eunice and cal. hahas. den wait for hazel to end. den waited until 2.55. went down and i saw eunice walk outt of the toilet with her hair spiked? hahas. den she took my book to block her hair and we all went outt tgt. hahas. drizzle. hahas. was thinking how is eunice hair gonna survive in the rain. hahas. den went off home. poured some things outt with hazel. den wait for her bus to come and go hom le.

from todayy onwards i'm grounded cos of my phone bill. haix. but still i can have lunch out. be back by 4.30? haix. great timing that is. haix. my parents grounding me is a good thing or a bad thing? i dunno. haix. we shall see after some time. see if i will discipline myself to study. hmmm. but at least i can go out during sat. now i think every week before gg to church i will go library bahh. yupp. is a good idea. wanna go with me? hee.

Saturday, January 15, 2005


10:06 PM

so sadd. i went library todayy. but i don borrow any books. cos i cant find any book that i want?! pig! i shall go some other library next time. hahs. supposed to meet ann na at 10. but the both of us were late and we reach at the same time. hahas. so coincidence. hahas. den library not opened so went bk to start doing out work. great. thats the first time i can do my work so attentively outside. hees. ann na next time i shall go out with you to study. hahas. den sit there and study until 11 den hazel and clara camee. hahas. den pack and went up to library. hees. search for books. but cant find anything at all. den hazel and ann na came to help me find. hee. but still in vain. oh wells. i shall go somewhere else next week alrightt? anyone wants to come? hee. hahas. i ate brownie with ice cream todayy.. hees. jealous? is soooo nicee ((: hahas. den sit there and took lotsssss of photos. hahas. we are all zi lianers. hee hees. den i have to go le. din wanted to but still i left for church. hees. den before leaving went to toilet and saw cal and nana. hahas. they were wearing tube one red and one black. hahs. so cool. den went off... was late for the tuition. )): den just nice go up they just started. oh pls. do you know one boy don want to sit with the rest. den we keep persuading him but still he wants to sit alone! wahh. i was so lost lohhh. i don even know what to do. luckily my class is small. if not can die. and also got one boy damn freaking rude. throw book at me and he talk back at me lohhh. wth. i still gg next week and forever until next yr. every sat. hahas. den later went home and sit there and watch tv. hahas. was too tired to move. hahas. todayy had a funn dayy. but will it still be the same forever? i dunno. beats me too. )):

Thursday, January 13, 2005


11:56 PM

very tired after everydays work in school. guess i need some tonics. hahas. dunno why so tired. so disappointing. now everyday i go home is talking on the phone and sleeping. i'm not even studying at all. -faints if this carrys on. i'm gonna flung my exams. i'm not gg to talk on the phone anymore. so people. don contact me thru hp. cos i think i'll be off-ing my phone. my phone bill too high. also to mia. hee. liketat i think i can study better isnt it? thats what ppl wants me to do. hee. yup. i will make sure i study. i think the best is i go home straight after school. no more of roaming ard. either i go home cook or i buy food home and eat. eating outside is a waste of time. like todayy. wasted 1 over hrs on stupid stuffs. damn pissed off. freak. i promise i'm not gg to touch any matter anymore. after my 'o's that it. but peeps. can find me to share. but i'll not help you in doing anything. i'll only listen and give advises. thats all. hee. hee hee. this sat gg to teach small little kidds. so funn. cant wait. but.. nvm. i think it'll be okayy. yup. looking forward to sat. gg to library. gonna borrow some good books to read. eng gg from badd to worst. hahas. yeahh. anyone wants to go library ask me along. i'll be more than happy. hee.


today. got spotcheck on spikey hair. people who got caught are mostly bungs. but van got caught too. haix. she nearly pass the test. but dunno why got called back agnn. den ms gan cut her hair from the back. hahas. so uneven. now i know why ms gan wanna be a teacher. cos she is not the cut for hairstlying?? hahas. whatever. but i think she makes a good teacher though. teacher has to be fierce of not students like us will not listen to instuctions. hahas. oh yes. ann na got caught too. but hers not so jia lat. the uneveness not that obvious as van. hahas. help to cut van hair. she is still go to trim her hair lahh. still we are not great hairstylist. hahas. den had lessons all the way. first time in my whole life i paid attention to all the lessons. hahas. know why? i don always talk to my partner. thats why i can pay full attention to the teachers that are talking. so proud of myself. peeps are you proud of me? i think you all are. hahas. FIRST TIME okayy? hee. i shall make more miracle out of me. hahas. i got alot of things i can do that you guys dunno. you guys will definitely be shocked when you see the nerd me really showed out. hahas. feel as if i'm in pri school. forget bout that bah. some badd memories. haix. after school go eat at the hawker with hazel and calista. ate den walk here walk there and talk here and talk there. hahas. just wasting my time over some stupidity stuffs. regretted. this shows me how much i shouldnt touch anything from now on. it is just a waste of time. get it? -slaps wake up guihe! is time to study. stop sleeping and dreaming.


my dreams will never come true. is all my wishful part of thinking. i've decided to stop all this pain that i'm having. i know i'm foolish. but i think thats the only way. i cant think of other solution.

Sunday, January 09, 2005


12:06 AM

stayed at home the whole dayy. cried agn. feel like cutting. stopped by lots of ppl. studied. slack. nth much today.


the thing is over. what trouble did i get? you all gonna call police? or what? i dunno. you speechless about me? i'm speechless about you too. as you said. you wun let anybody to mess with your friends. me too. one thing is for calista side. i'm the only person who knows her everything. if i'm not there. den who the hell is gonna help her? as for anyi. if you all not there. still got ting ting and those straights loh. everything was fine at first. if you all werent to turn up. i think we wun be so jiang. what you have told me last time. lies. pack of lies. thats what i can say. told me before. no matter what happens. i wun give up on you. never will you. but now what? giving up on me. great. having this friendship gone is ur decision? okay. i guess i have to follow it. you have made up the decision. i have nth to say. 2 yrs.. friendship. liketat gone. i'm disappointed. as well sad. real sad. both of us said we are gg to study hard tgt. graduate tgt. all this don count now. everythings gone. as well as the memories. memories is the thing that i treasure alot. even up to now. i still can rmb every single thing has happen since sec1. guess all of these i have to put it into a box and bury them from now. goodbye my best memories. who don want us to go back what we were like before? i really want to. do you know how much i want to? crying like shitt. regretted. not bcos of i'm there. regretted cos introduced anyi to you. if you hadnt know her. you wouldnt have helped her at all. isnt it? you were there. yes. you din say anything. we din even quarrel. still there goes our friendship. know why? we are on diff side. thats what makes the tension btw us damn high. so high till we cant even bring ourselves to talk to each other at all. thats why in school. we din even talk to each other. i've tried talking to you like a normal friend. like what we used to. but still when i hear ur rlp. i have nth to say. you only gave one word rlp or very short rlp. i don see you trying to talk to me. is heartaching. real hurts me alot. don you realise. even if we see each other. i still gave you a bigg smile. but you din say anything or smile back or whatsoever. i see no rlp in you. i dunno why. i have tried. tried real hard. i got nth back but a friednship end. -walk away crying i dont wanna turn back.

Friday, January 07, 2005


8:57 PM

i need someone to be by me now. but i don think there is anybody. ppl i want to talk to is not there. i feel so lonely. i need a shoulder to cry on. why? the moment i saw you three there. i heart tored. really pieces. i was about to cry. my seafood family.. my family. all three standing on the other side not beside me at all. this image really hurts me lots. do you know the appearance of the three of you make me feel so damn pain. do you understand how i feel at all? i don think you do. if you do. i don think you will stand opp me anymore. you will stand neutral. i'm so disappointed. regret to let you know anyi. do you know how regretful i am? tell you all of this also no use. you don even understand me at all. -walks away

Wednesday, January 05, 2005


9:36 PM

school is the same today. but rain damn heavily in the morning. got abit wet but its alright. got forced to take umbrella to school. hahas. den took a bus to school den walk in. haix. den start lesson and etc. yeahhs. every wed i same with hazel... whee hees. after school went off with miao cal and hazel. walk and talk and crapps. hahas. den went to the coffee shop meet person. den ate lunchie. hahas. chicken rice for us. but hazel eat fishballs. hahas. her fron to small. need to boost. wahahas. den eat le go home. hahas. everyone is running late. so everyone damn gan jiong. hahas. den went home with cal and hazel. waited for hazel bus to come. den walk with calista to her bus stop. hahas. still i can reach home at 3.30 hahas. i made it. i can reach home by 3.30. yeahhs. hahas, reached home. hope straight to bedd. damn tired. den got so damn many calls. din bother to pick up. but called non-stop. gods!! cant even sleep. cos calls and msg.. den continue. until 7 watch tv and dinner. den i'm gg to start studying!!! hahas. social studies and chinese todayy. yeahhs. working hard for my future now.. yeahh!!! ((: i will do my best. i try to get A1 for every subject if i cann.. wish me luck babes! ((:

Monday, January 03, 2005


9:56 PM

school start le. shitts. i have to study hard from now on. thats my goal for the yr. after settling that matter i'll really go home straight after school everyday to study. i realise that i cant catch up with the work now. cos i hadnt been revising during the holidays and i have forgotten everything. so i have to get what i learnt back. now i have to be 10 times hardworking than before. cos last time i'm just slacking my time away. not even studying. pls peep.s help me. push me to study. i have to be push. don let me slack. i cant afford to do that now. remind me to do my hw. now time for me is too precious cos i have so damn many tuitions gg on lahh. time will be gone for tuition. haix. peeps. we shall all work hard tgt for our 'o's and we can graduate happily tgt. with tears of joy and not saddness. i shall work hard and wait for that day to come. us being tgt. we definitely can make our dream come true. whoever wants to study. ask me out.. i go and study with you..


school just sux todayy. is touring ard the school. instead we were running round the school make me feel so damn hot and sticky. ahhs. don care. guess who is my form teacher? mrs raja. actually she is crappy teacher. hahas. her jokes are funny lahhh. yeahhh. handphones and ponytails are allowed now!! yeahh. now ppl. you all can msg me. but i'll only be able to rlp you guys after school so there is no diff. but at least can hold my handdphone properly liaox. don need to sneak here sneak there. hahas. great!! normal lesson starts tmr. die! my hw not even done yet!! gods. i have to finish them all by tonight!! how? i need to burn midnight oil agnn. haix. nvm. i've been doing that all the time just that now is diff case. last time is talking on the phone now is do hw. hahas. my life is gg to change. ard me and my head is study school work and more work. but no matter what i wun neglect my friends. so don worry. as long as you need me. i'll be there. i promise. truthfully the space that our school has is quite bigg. just that they dunno how to use that kinda bigg space to bulid bigger and more spacious classrooms. luckily i'm only staying in this school for only 1 yr. hahas. but like what mrs lum say. in this 1 yr. we are gg to lose weight. hahas. good idea. i'm gg to take this chance to lose more weight. i'm getting fat agnn. stop me from eating!! -pouts


i just hope that this yr will go away smoothly. and i'll study hard for 'o's and get good results.
hope everything will be fine. ((:

Saturday, January 01, 2005


2:45 AM

happy new yr everyoone.. hahas. many many things have happen these few dayss. haix. shan talk about it. yepps. chalet was funn. enjoyed it. thanks.


chalet.
day1.
woke up early. prepare den went to kovan to take poker first. also to meet zenn. but she din make it. so chatted with van awhile den went off to hougang mall to meet char. den took 89 to downtown east.. den check in and everything. went to our rm. our rm no. is 1632 block f. hahas. second floor. too bad we din take the corner rm. haix. den settle down and waited for daddy and kor kor to come. her mum stayed till 6++ den left. den went to find ann na and calista. no more steamboat. so sadd. den in the end we ate pizzahut. took back to the room and eat. den played poker. hahas. my case is qing chang shi yi du chang de yi. hee hee. den finally zenn called. mia for so damn long. den went out with calista and ann na to meet her. at the taxi stand. cal use comp den waited for her. she cried. so din went back to the rm. bought liqor and went straight to the beach. slack ard at the beach. den went back to the taxi stand to meet eleonora. hahas. den went back to the room to put her stuffs back. but in the end. the moment they opened the door. we got scolded. haix. den put her stuffs and went to the pavilion. calista and zenn were behind. ask what happened. den they went up to take ann na bagg. den came down we played truth or dare. hahas. damn funny. den played until sianx liaox. say they want to use the comp. den zenn and calista went back left me and eleonora and ann na. went back to sleep.


midnight about 5++ hungry went to eat cup noodles with char. hahas. den went back to sleep agn.. felt like a piggg. haix. den the next morning ate breakfast and after watching mvp go cycling. i dunno how to so double bike with eleonora. char with kor kor. hahas. den went everywhere. hahas. fly kite.. is nicee. truthfully is real nice when you see the kite flying so high. i hope i can be up there. so that i can see the whole wide world so freely. feeling the breeze. thats great. it just brighten up my dayy. hahas. den went back to our rm. slack ard. and ann na went off. den char mum came. with spring chicken. god! is very bigg lahh. cant finish so gave kor kor my more den half de chicken. hahas. den her mum went off at 10.30. cried. went to meet calista. went to the beach. den ate.. as what i always do. talked alot. den about 5++ went back to sleep. until 8++ den wake up. bathe and packed. kor kor left first. den we all go eat breakfast and homee... hahahas. slept the whole day at home. ahahas. den at ard 7 went to kbox. until 3 am den took a cab home. hahas. sang my hearts outt!! yeahhh. sleep like a log for the whole dayy.. yeahhh!!!!!!!




*you..
do you know what? how i wish you dunno anyi at all. do you know how much i regretted to let you know her that time. if that time i hadnt tell you about her. now you wun be siding her at all. and we wun even be quarrelling until so jia latt now. how i wish i can go back to that time. change everything. i think nth wun have happen and no arguements will there be btw us. do you ever have the feeling of being two timed? i have. the feeling just sucks. if you know how does it feels you wun stay ao calm anymore. pls. i really hope you don touch this matter. really. it will really do you no good at all. i promise our friendship wun be affected. cos i know the limit. nth of this will happen. whyy you don have any confidence in me at all. i wun bcos of this quarrel make until our friendship no more. do you get it.? somemore you say that you wun let anyone mess with your fren. means that you don treat me as fren? cos now bcos of that fren of ours you are messing with me? i really dunno what you are trying to do. i really dunno. tell me pls.