fuck it. i've been crying for dayys. ting tong bell rightt? yeahh really very ting tong bell. i feel so weird. i've never been like this before. first time even ppl who are close to me feel strange too. they've never seen me liketat before. i've changed i guess. changed to a weaker guihe. i'm not the person you ever know anymore. nobody will even know what am i thinking. even the people who understands me the most have now become a stranger to me. i need a shoulder badly. really very badly. is so hard to cry at home you know? fuck it lahhh. i'm not gonna blog about this anymore. -walks away

Monday, March 21, 2005


9:45 PM

i'm currently under depression. so better not provoke me. if not you will either seeing me cry and cut or scolding ppl. dont ask me whyy. just make me laughh thats the best you all can do for me. really. make me laughh as much as possible. thanks babes. i think with all of you ard i'm sure i can cross this high tide. ((:

5:37 PM

wahahhas. i'm backk! school was alrightt todayy i guess.. just that 8 more weeks we're all gonna have our mid-yr exams! briliantt isnt it? that freaky okayy. time real flies. you gotta trust me. it really flies. once is gone you can never have the time back agnn. cos it has alrdy become one of our memory. that what makes memories precious. cos you cant have that same kinda memory agnn. understand? hees.
yeahh rightt. now my tongue hole is totally closed! freakkkk!!!! i cant stuff that freaking stud in anymore. crazy doodle rightt? haix. forget it. i'm definitely piercing it agnn. but i think thats gonna be a long long time later lohh. oh godd. i wonder how long later am i gonna have my tongue piercing agnn. haix.
amaths was alrightt lahh. just summing up the whole lesson. hahas. lit was cool. cos we were all doing tablios. hahas. everybodys idea damn funny. hahas. den during chi me van and delicia were talking all the wayy. hou lao shi kept scolding us. hahas. damn funny. scold non-stop. cant blame me. we were talking about billabong stuffs. so cant stop. hahas. lame rightt? hees. and one more thing just 10 more weeks later we'll be having CHINESE 'O' LEVEL! oh my goodness! only 10 MORE WEEKS! babes we all shall work hard okayy? den we can play after 181105. hahas. great rightt? i'm so looking forward to this dayy. yeahhs!!!!

Sunday, March 20, 2005


11:04 AM

fark lahh! my dad threw my damn stud out of the damn window! freaking hell!!!!!! omg. my tongue hole is gonna close le. shitttt!!!!! this is so damn irritating! wa lau. got scolded last night cos of tongue piercing. fark can? what is this lohhh. tongue piercing only lohhh. i also never do other piercing rightt? fark lahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so damn irritated and arngry can?!!?!?!?!? wa lau.... i feeel like killing some farkers now. my god. now i dont even feel like gg to sch on mon! fark! i dont feel well at all. not at all. i feel that i've got depression soon. dont ask me why. i dont wish to say. thats all. maybe i'll be away agnn. i need to settle down. goodbye.

12:14 AM

babes! do you all know what?! hahahas. I PIERCE MY TONGUE LE! hees. i pierced it. whees. but now is like so farking pain lohh. so sickk. very hungry now but cant even open my damn mouth to eat. my parents suspect that i go pierce my tongue! they're like forcing me to stick out my tongue and until now they still want to check. damn sick and irritating lohh!!! freak! this is driving me nuts! cos here i am in pain and in hunger there they are irritating me to open my damn mouth. oh no. this sucks. i wonder how the hell am i suppose to go to sch with this damn state of mine. hahas. oh wells. i shall se how when i go back to sch. hees. yupp. chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi. hees. i wanna go sleep le lahhh. really damn pain lah. somehow regretted. but still i've pierce it le. so forget it. hees. nights peeps.

Friday, March 18, 2005


10:12 PM

know what? i miss her!!! i did hear her voice todayy but. is only for THAT short while cos my dad was beside me only?! wth. now she neither reply my msges or my calls. pig. can anybody bring her rightt in front of my eyes now? i really miss her alot. i just wanna see her or hear her voice thats all. or just one msg is enough. let me know that she is alrightt i'll be contented. i tot that i can live w/o her. i think thats for the past. but now i doubt i can live w/o her. no matter what. i have to live w/o her. cos i know she can never be mine. so now i'm trying my best to live w/o her. wish me luck peeps. hees. i dread gg to sch. this sucks. now the tot of gg to sch just turn me straight off. cos i'll be facing my mid-yr exams soon. crap. now the time is so precious for me. i've to study hard! no more gg out for me. this is driving me crazy! die! but no matter what i want to see her still oh no. i'm crapping! hahas. i feel that i'm just so not me todayy. i guess is shall stop here.

1:50 PM

finally i'm home. hahas. cooll. i went to hazel hse stay but is only for one damn night. didnt quite enjoy that one night cos i was drunk?? hahas. yupp. how sweet of them to take care of me.. hahas. thanks pal. also. sorry for all thr trouble. hees. i think i was quite a nuisance that night har? hees. but althou that night was damn short still i enjoyed it. hahas. so cool. hmmm last night was too sleepy so didnt blog. hees. the moment is reached home i went into my beautiful bedd and slept till the next morning. hees.

ytd.
woke up early early morning. why? cos clara took my blanket away! pigg. i was shocked! cos i tot got something. was so scared cann?! pig! den suddenly she sae "eh you're guihe arhh? chey i tot you're my sis! sorry!! i take the blanket k?" hahas. damn funny. den i continue sleeping until 7+ but actually i set the clock at 9 but dunno why i cant sleep. got hangover. hmmm den talk talk talk. ate breakfast and called tao ni to wake up.. hahas. wanted to eat tao hui. butt too bad some tao ni never buy. so forget it le. hahas.den watched meet the fockers halfway i went home bathed changed went back ther agnn. hahas. slack ard sleep. hees. den did the jigsaw puzzle. do halfway eat and talked agnn. crap rightt? hahas. yepps. hees. stayed until 9+ den go home. hahas. intended to stay one more night but my mum don allow at all. haix. so yupp. thats all. hees.

Thursday, March 17, 2005


12:30 AM

wahahahs. i just sober only cann? whees. i drank and guess what? i'm drunk!!! wahahahas. ting tong righhttt?? this is the first time me and calista got so damn drunk? hahas. poor hazel jingwen and zenn. hahas. has to look after me when i'm drunk. whees. sorry for the trouble. hees. den i'm so worrried if calista got raped!!! wahahahas. but still she din lahh k? heng arhh. if not i'll be so guilty. cos i'm the one who bought that jug and she have to drink with me!!! i still can rmb. i'm so damn crazy in the train!!! hahahahs. laughing non-stop. hahahas. vomitted before we went drinking. crazy rightt? i think we're trying to kill ourselves lahh. hees. ting tong lahh. denand now i'm staying over at hazel place. whees. the night is mine!!! i doubt i will sleep tonight lahh. hees. called calista just now. trash out alot things. she knows how regretful am i and i i told her all i want her to do is to be happy. yeahhs!!! hees. she has promised!!! hees. freaking hell. i'm drunk and i din know what the hell did i do?!?!?!?!? this is sickening. all i know i is i fell down!!! oh no. i scratched my phone!!!! freaking hell!!!! this is so irritating!!!! wahahahas. den best!!! i don know what the hell happened in te taxi!!!! freaking hell!!! i dunno if i got babber any words or whatt?!~?!?!?!? oh no. how? how?! all i know now is i want everyone to be happy!!!!! whees. thats all and nothing else. i don care about other thing except my studies and ppl's happiness.!! hees. that all. i cared about nothing now. whees. thats the best!!!!! whoohoo!!!!! i don wish to care anything now!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, March 14, 2005


7:35 PM

early morning went over to van house just to make honey lime water. hahas. den i fall down in the midst of gg to her house. her bro damn cute. [but so farkin irritatin..say wana marry her..so i wans to whack e shit out of him.]says zenn. den go with her to ah kiao there to cut her hair. saw the baby!!!!!!!! soooooooo cute!!!!!!!!! hahas. laugh everytime i see her..!!!!!!!! hahas. den go home.. watched tv. slack ard.... nth else. i can go hazel house and stay le!! hahahas. cant wait for that day.. whees. [im so bored now...feel like sleeping!!!!!feel so great now........cause i just said alot of crap to a act cute baby carrot....]says zenn.LIM GUIHE IS SO CRUEL OKAY..she told tt baby carrrot to hit me all she wants...having no objections to it lor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
such a BAD person she is lor...and she is hitting me now!!!!!!still dare say me evil..i think is she lor!!!!!!still hitting me!!!!stupid sadist!!!!!

Saturday, March 12, 2005


8:53 PM

whees. finally i cut my hair!! wahahas. intended to go tanning. but alot of ppl are going to sentosa so cancelled that tot and went straight to town. stupid sit train all the way to harbour front and in the end me and calista changed our mind. whahas. den headed to town. went to ps. shopped ard. saw ppl. eat. hahas. and i took pic with spongebob!! wahahahs. lame. is the pic on the wall. wahahas. so cute lahh. patrick wasnt wearing any spants at all!!!!! hees. den we headed down to cine. but passed scissorshands. so went in and cut my hair althou my appointment is like 4.30? den cut my hair! hahas. now mrs rajah dare to say my fringe is blocking my eyes i will dig out her eyes straight away! hees. cos my fringe is so short now! hahas. den calista cut her hair too?! hahas. again right? but i think now nicer lohh. aiyo. go sch sure die de. i cant tie my hair at all!den went ot cine. find sulynn. den walk ard. about 7+ i went home. stupid bus take damn long to come!!! make me get scolding only. haix.

Sunday, March 06, 2005


11:24 AM

hmmm. what can i say? school is still the same for everyday. i doubt there'll be any change unless some bigg thing has happened. so i shall not blog bout my sch. it just bores me now. plus my marks are really HORRENDOUS! oh no. meet the parents sessions are like 5 days more. luckily my dad not in sg on fri. truthfully studies are real driving me crazy. i'm not studying at all when i told myself i have to. where has my determination gone to? oh no. is gone agnn. i have to find it back. haix.it just so not me these few days. sorry if i have attitude you. i just dont have the mood. my family is so idiotic. they told me i'm gg ite for sure. althou i think so but still i'm gonna try my best and show them that i can do well. for money and for me. one sub of A = $50. hahas. worst is i dont even have the confidence to have a A in my result slip next year! haix. i'm gg to mental soon. anything can keep my stress level down? oh yarr. i've found my study grp. i pray that this grp can study AND can make me study. if not whats the study grp for? anyone interested to join? hees. shedule havent come up yet. cos i think we're starting after march holidays. hmm. what i can say now is slack now. really rightt after march holidays. i'm not gg to play anymore. i'm even thinking of throwing my fone and house fone away. isnt that great? hahas. if all of these actions can make me study i dont mind at all. wahahas. just that my poor friends out there cant find me at all. now thats called missing in action. whoohoo. isnt that what i want. hmmm. i shall think about it. wheees. one good news. i've learnt something after my self-reflection. hees. i've learnt to LET GO. yupp. friends are more into their steads or their steads to be. go ahead. i'm not jealous anymore. why? cos i've learnt to let everything go. i dont take things to hard now. i realise that i'm just torturing myself liketat. what for? i've suffered enough from ppl so why am i adding to the suffer. i myself should make things easier for myself. yupp. so friends go ahead. i'm no longer jealous. i can be alone. no worries. i think liketat is better for me isnt it? hees. also i'm leting you go slowly. i'm trying my best to.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005


9:55 PM

why do i feel as if everyone is leaving me? why? i feel so left out. issit my circle of friends have become smaller or issit people are busy with their other friends? busy with stead or even busy with stead-to-be. this is crap. what they told me was friends are more impt than steads. now rightt. steads are more impt den friends okayy. prove me no more. cos i have seen it with my own eyes. say i'm jealous or whatsoever. cos i'm certainly lacking of concern. i'm so stressed up. i dunno what to do. my work is really in a mess. i'm not confident in passing my eng at all! no! not a single percentage of passing! this really cant go on. i seriously need a study grp. seriously need to sit down and study hard and score well for my tests! i've been failing like cows and pigs! this really cant go on. this this persists. i'm just gonna go to ite. which my parents and siblings predicted me to go to. seriously NO! never am i gonna step into that place. sorry but really i dont wanna end up there. pls friends. scold me. control me. i really really need to study. i cant carry on playing liketat. this is so not me. suddenly i feel that i'm not the guihe before. i've changed. i used to study for test. but now. i dont even give a damn to it. whats going on? i really have to put all the other things aside now. and seriously sit down with my study grp and study! if even the basics i cant even do den i conclude that i'm really hopeless. no point taking 'o's anymore. but no worries. i'm not gonna give up half way. hees. i'm gonna try my best. you guys pray for me okay. you'll see me taking my results with the tears of joy and not saddness next year. ((: